Updated 2021.12.27
For most of us, our families are generous and kind. So we do want to give back to those who have given so much to us.
This is why when friends and family ask for guidance, most psychics and mediums usually do what they can to provide.
But sometimes, especially when a psychic is starting a business or in the middle of a restructuring, requests from family and friends, which are by nature often unpaid with cash, can feel overwhelming.
So if you are a psychic and your family thinks your gifts have value, that's great. But it may be helpful to set up some structure so you can still help those who love you, but in a way where you can also run the rest of your life.
If your gifts work for close friends, and you do want to use your psychic abilities to help friends, and family members, you can set the boundaries with your friends and family by explaining to them how your gifts work.
Below are a few more ideas for sharing gifts with family while providing a professional service to others -
7 Tips For Better Service Boundaries With Family & Friends
#1 Teach
Show your family and friends how to get similar information themselves using oracle cards or pendulums.
If your family has already shown you some of this, you can pass small bits of how to get guidance onto other loved ones who are willing to learn, to prevent the tax on you, and to spread the wisdom.
Know someone who has been asking or talking about signs? This is a person who would be willing and open to learning how to access spiritual guidance.
Teaching can provide another way to bond, along with passing invaluable information they may be able to use when you're not around.
#2 Tell people when you’re off duty
Talk to your loved ones honestly about when your disconnect hours are. This gives those who love you a better idea of when it is okay to ask. It also avoids requests for help while you are teaching classes or when working for paying clients.
#3 Boundaries on pro-bono
Create a boundary for a certain amount of pro-bono time you work each year and stick to it. For example, I do about 80 to 100 hours a year.
#4 Only make promises you are comfortable with
If you can promise if you ever have a message for them from Spirit, you won't hesitate to deliver it to them. When my family wants a reading, they usually want to make sure I'm not withholding life-changing information, so some have asked if Spirit has a message for them to just tell them as soon as I can.
So you can make a promise that you will and so many people gain here: this person doesn't have to ask all the time for stuff uncomfortably and feel guilty about it then, and you can deliver messages as they come, without any pressure to perform from outside sources, which will make all feel more at ease.
#5 Gift exchange for readings
Instead of charging friends and family a flat rate for services, do a gift-giving exchange for providing spiritual consultations among your peer group.
You can set a specific family and friend discount or offer a unique gift exchange policy just for your friends, family, and colleagues.
For example, set up a trade of gifts: their talents for yours in dinners, wines, home-brewed craft beers, handcrafted soaps, and herbal supplies. These are all things I've accepted with friends and family in exchange for a reading.
I've also traded readings with family members, but this only works if your family knows how to read.
Many people love doing the trading system and find it innate, sensible, and a helpful guide on what to do.
#6 Develop soft rules for conflict of interest situations
Make soft rules such as that you won't read colleagues or let people know your Spirit Guides may not provide you with guidance for family, but that you will do card readings.
This can be a great way to guide while still keeping spiritual distance and making sure your bias isn't influencing your reading.
#7 Let your friends and family know when you’re available
Let your family know when you can look into things for them. I've found that giving hard work-timeframes while still going to gatherings with the expectation that I may be asked to look into something, helps.
So, to recap
Set boundaries and educate the ones you love on what healthy boundaries mean for you, and soon you'll find people not only respect you more but also, they begin to take your work more seriously, too, which is a win-win all around.
If you ever feel pressured to look into something, know whoever is doing the pressuring usually really needs the help.
But, just as anyone is allowed to have off-hours, so are you, and the more understanding we allow our loved ones to become, the more helpful we can be.
Reaffirming your boundaries can help family, friends, and others helps those who love you understand your needs on a deeper level.
In turn, it'll help you identify ways in which you can use your gifts to serve those closest to you, who are most likely to be the ones that also serve you.
Spiritual gifts are designed to support our communities, and as long as we leave some space for it in a way that all feel respected, it usually works out.
In most cases -
The reasons why family and friends ask for a peek on something real quick is not out of maliciousness or a knowing disrespect, but simply out of excitement, pure belief, and total faith in your gifts.
Want guidance from a friend or family member who is a professional psychic or healer?
Most are happy to share their gifts, and excited someone else they know and like is interested in what they do.
Here’s how to ask for intuitive advice if you are family -
If you are looking for a reading from a family or friend, know that most of us want to help, but sometimes the words of the request get lost in translation.
When you want astral guidance on something, when asking, use clear and common psychic terms, such as:
Can you look into it?
What do you see?
Are you feeling anything about...?
Words like these cue us that you are interested in what is happening in the energy planes and not just our advice as regular humans.
Try to be specific with your request so we look into something you'd like. There are macro questions and micro questions, and depending on time or privacy, we may only be able to focus on one or the other.
Using psychic words like look into, see, or feel, in your request will help us get the hint you are more interested in what we are getting mediumistically or psychically.
This is especially important to do when asking during a hang-out time or at parties, which is a typical time that friends and family ask me.
I also know I've given my empathic support when a family member wanted a psychic read, only out of miscommunication after a long day. And likewise, I know I've looked into something when all someone wanted was a hug or just my empathy.
We usually want to help, and when everyone is clear with what they are asking, then as few missed signals are lost in translation as possible.
When family and friends ask for spiritual help, it's an opportunity for you to share your talents with the people who matter most to you in your life and success to you, is also most important to you.
One caveat: some people can't read clearly for family or friends, because the situation is too close. Intuitive abilities do work best for some when you have the least amount of informational bias.
So if this is the case, perhaps you can ask for or be directed to other, nearby resources - such as a referral. These can also have their perks. They save hunt time, and sometimes, friends and family discounts are extended.
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